101 WAYS...

50. COMPLIMENT OTHERS

I can live for two months on a good compliment.
--Mark Twain

"Have you lost weight?" is a comment that would probably sustain most of us for at least three months! Some people pay compliments as grudgingly as income tax. Others pay compliments freely, but then expect a receipt. Don't be either one of these. Actively compliment your husband, your kids, your coworkers--total strangers. It will not only brighten the recipient's day, but yours as well. And it will get you into the habit of looking for the positive (see #6). If you can't think of anything nice to say, maybe you're not looking hard enough.

49. HAVE A MUFFIN

Warm, moist, soft, scrumptious--there are few ills in day-to-day life that a fresh-baked muffin can't cure. Follow the recipe below, and you'll not only have a delicious bit of comfort, but a nutritious, low-fat, high-fiber pick-me-up as well.

Oat-Bran Muffins

1 1/4 cups oat-bran cereal
1 cup unprocessed wheat bran
1/3 cup sugar
3/4 teaspoon cinnamon
3/4 teaspoon allspice
1/2 cup raisins
1/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/4 cup walnuts, chopped
1 tablespoon baking powder
3/4 cup nonfat buttermilk
1/4 cup fat-free sour cream
1/4 cup skim milk
2 tablespoons unsweetened applesauce
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 egg whites
nonstick butter-flavored cooking spray

Preheat oven to 400o F. Mix thoroughly first nine ingredients in a large bowl. Set aside. Mix the next five ingredients in another bowl. Beat egg whites until frothy, then add to other liquid ingredients. Fold liquid mixture into dry ingredients until just barely moistened. Lightly spray muffin tin with nonstick cooking spray. Pour mixture into muffin tins. Bake 15-18 minutes. Makes 12 servings.
127 calories; 2 grams fat.

48. REKINDLE THE FLAME WITH YOUR PARTNER

Let's face it--even Nicole Kidman must look at Tom Cruise sometimes and say, "Ehhh." No one can sustain romance-novel passion forever. But once the champagne's gone flat, there's much you can do to bring tenderness back into your relationship. And tenderness leads to greater intimacy. And intimacy leads to--well, you don't need a map! Try one of these tips to help light that pilot again.

~ Memorize a love poem to recite.
~ Write a love letter and slip it into your beloved's briefcase.
~ Re-create your first date or romantic encounter.
~ Hold hands.
~ Kidnap your mate for a weekend getaway or for an overnight stay in a hotel.
~ Look that special someone in the eyes, and say, "I love you."

47. PLAY

Yes, play! Like a child. Forgotten how? Try these:

~ Go to a playground and swing.
~ Have a snowball fight.
~ Finger-paint--and make a real mess!
~ Organize a game of hide-and-seek with your spouse or whole family.
~ Ambush a friend with squirt guns.
~ Build a kite and fly it.
~ Rake up a huge pile of leaves and jump in.
~ Sail paper boats.
~ Make yourself a bubble bath and add some toys.

If doing any of these things--or anything like them--makes you feel silly, then you're doing them right! No one knows how to unwind and embrace life like a child.

46. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF
If you don't, who will? Some pointers:

~ DON'T GET DEFENSIVE.
~ DON'T LOSE YOUR COOL.
~ ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR MISTAKES.
~ EXPECT RESPECT.
~ REFUSE TO BICKER.
~ SMILE.

45. BUY FRESH FLOWERS REGULARLY

If a man finds himself with bread in both hands, he should exchange one loaf for some flowers of the narcissus, because the loaf feeds the body, but the flowers feed the soul.
--- Muhammad

44. BE A TEAM PLAYER

When Joan McFarland became coach of the girls' basketball team, the Wildcats, at Madison High School, she called a team meeting in the locker room. She introduced herself, outlined her methods of coaching, and described the drills the players would be running that day. Turning to lead the girls onto the court, she came face-to-face with a large poster on the wall. It showed a famous basketball player charging down the court with with the caption: "Either Lead, Follow, or Get out the Way!" Joan studied the poster, then turned to her players.

"There's something wrong with this poster," she said. "What is it?"

"It's a guy!" one of the girls said, and everyone laughed.

"No," said Joan. "That's not it. Think about it."

She led the girls onto the court and began the first of many grueling practices. Two of the players were excellent, but constantly competed for the ball and the most spectacular shots. The other players had fallen into the habit of feeding the ball to one of the stars and hoping that she would ultimately score enough points to outdistance their opponents. Their defense was faltering and disorganized. "They weren't playing as a team, and they didn't seem to understand what that meant," says Joan.

It took weeks of practice to even out the ball-handling, and it seemed that the two top players had only learned to shoot less and pass more. But the practice and drills eventually began to pay off.

"It's hard work to get players to gel as a team," Joan explains. "The truth is, we really don't teach kids how to be team players. That poster is a case in point. And every time I said to my girls, 'What's wrong with this poster?' no one could say."

By the end of the season, the Wildcats had improved drastically, winning their last eight games. They made it to the semifinals before losing a tough game in overtime. In the locker room afterward, Joan gave an emotional pep talk to her team, but broke off in midsentence when she noticed that the poster of the slam-dunking superstar wasn't on the wall. "What happened to the poster?" she asked.

"We've got something for you, Coach," one of the players said. The girls brought out the poster, framed and tied with a bow. The caption had been altered slightly. It now read: "Lead, follow, and Get Out of the Way!"

"That made me happier than anything I'd seen from them all season," says Joan. "They had learned to play as a team. You've got to do all those things--lead, follow, and make way--and you've got to work at it with your teammates until you know which one you have to do at any given time."

43. IMPROVE YOUR NUTRITIONAL IQ

1) What contains more fat: an egg of three tablespoons of dried almonds? What contains more saturated fat?

2) True or false? Fiber is a form of carbohydrate.

3) True or false? Pound for pound, you require less protein as you age.

You wouldn't pull into a gas station and say, "Fill it up with whatever you've got." You've got to know what kind of fuel to put into your car. The same goes for your body. Know your fuel. Familiarize yourself with the basics of good nutrition, and read those labels.

--Answers: 1) The almonds; the egg. 2) True. 3) True.

42. DO ALL YOUR HOLIDAY SHOPPING BEFORE THANKSGIVING

41. BE A MENTOR

To teach is to learn twice.
---Joseph Joubert

No experience outside of parenting is perhaps as satisfying as that of being a teacher or acting as a mentor. Whether you mentor a niece or nephew, sibling, or younger coworker, the opportunity to share your experience and expertise with a willing pupil rewards both of you in ways you cannot imagine.

Investigate mentor programs sponsored by schools and community centers, which often provide an opportunity to work regularly with youngsters on reading or math skills, or creative projects.

40. BE A GOOD LISTENER

Test yourself. Next time you have lunch with a friend or colleague, go home and write down a "report" of the conversation. Detail as closely as possible what you both said. Can you remember the topics covered or the specifics of what was said? Who did most of the talking--you or your companion?

Remember, too, that being a good listener means being a good speaker--knowing when to interject an appropriate question, and how to summarize articulately and clarify the information you receive.

39. DEVELOP AN EXERCISE ROUTINE

You must, you must, you must. Exercise strengthens your heart, boosts your immunity, and helps prevent a multitude of aging ills, including cancer and osteoporosis. Studies prove that people who exercise regularly live longer. Here are some more reasons to exercise. You will:

~ stay healthy
~ look younger
~ lose weight
~ have more stamina
~ cope with stress
~ feel happier
~ work more efficiently
~ think more clearly
~ remember things better
~ enjoy sex more

38. MAINTAIN A SENSE OF HUMOR

The most wasted of our days are those in which we have not laughed.

---Nicolas-Sebastien de Chamfort